Running Around Cleveland


Where Do I Go From Here?
January 4, 2012, 11:48 am
Filed under: Cross Training, Injury, Marathon Maniacs, Running | Tags: , ,

Its been a while friends. Last time I posted I was halfway through a run of 4 marathons in 23 days trying to obtain Iridium Level, 4 stars, in the Marathon Maniacs. Well the good news is, I DID IT!!!! I accomplished an incredible goal. October of 2011 I can honestly say was one of the highest points of my life.  But not long after that is when things started to change. Everything has left me wondering, “Where Do I Go From Here?”

Not only was October where I made so many accomplishments in running, but it was the high point of so many parts of my life. I was the healthiest I had ever been. I had a plan for my life that was better than anything I could have imagined not too long ago. Sometimes to get the best you have to be willing to make huge sacrifices, which is exactly what I did. Unfortunately for me, the sacrifices were for naught. I lost friends, and so much more in my decisions.

But that’s OK, right. I mean I still have running. Running is such a huge part of my life. For those of you who know me or have read my blog, you know running is a tool I used to beat not only addiction and depression. It gave me focus in those battles. It gave me positive energy. It gave me a constructive outlet. So I will just refocus back on to my running and make it through just like I always do.

That was until I ran 13.1 miles in 2:01 and could not walk for the next 3 days.  So began the longer that it should have taken process of figuring out what was wrong with me. In this time of searching, I was more or less without running, just a few runs when it didn’t hurt too bad. But the lose of running at such a time in my life resulted in bad things. First, I rapidly put back on 30+ pounds that I had worked so hard to lose. Worse yet, I started to feel the claws of my addiction & depression start to grab hold & pull at me. What did I do? I went for runs. Bad runs. Runs that I should not have taken because as I would find out, my injury was caused by overuse. It is a stress fracture. Now this is where I am.

Setting fashion trends in 2012!

Now I can’t run, for a while. Even when the boot comes off it will be sometime before I can even run little amounts.

So where do I go from here? With depression & addiction clawing at me, and my normal outlet gone and being kind of isolated right now, what can I do?

First I reach out. I make new friends. Friends that understand what you are going through and the power these things hold over your life. People I can share with without judgement. They are out there. I have found a couple really good ones through Twitter and Blogging.

Second I find a new outlet, activities that can’t harm my recovery from injury. I used to be a swimmer in high school. I think its time I find my old Speedos and put them on for a good swim. I am also going to attempt something new. My sports med doc told me as long as it causes zero pain, I could do Yoga. I have several friends you are very active Yogi-ist and have been asking me to go for a while, its time to take them up on this offer. As recovery goes on I will be able to add more activities. One of the first is cycling. The last will be running. But this course of cross training has my mind spinning, this is finally giving the perfect reason to train and be a triathlete. I am setting a goal now that by the end of 2013 I will have finished an Ironman triathlon.

Third I have to put my life back together. I have to identify what parts I lost that I want back and are worth pursuing. I have to realize what parts were bad for me and leave them behind. I also have to do the same with the new parts of my life, keep the parts that are good and leave the parts that are bad. Its going to be a difficult process putting it back together the right way for me, some of it I will have no control over. Not controlling the direction of my life is hard for me, especially since structure is an important part of my battle against depression & addiction.

So this where I am going. Maybe I am headed the wrong direction still. But I think I am seeing clearly now.

Where are you going?

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4 Comments so far
Leave a comment

I sure hope you can work through this injury. I can honestly tell you (from experience) that there are other sports out there that can help you get through this. Swimming and cycling did it for me.
Take care of yourself!

Comment by Heather

I know it may be cliche but everything happens for a reason. Maybe without this injury you would have never even considered the idea of dipping your toes in the triathlon waters…let alone an IRONMAN! Holy moly! That’s awesome! Hugs to you from Columbus! I had to take an entire year off of running because of my pesky IT Band…I could do everything BUT run. It really started to get to me and I was desperate to get outdoors and sweat so that’s when I purchased my road bike. I don’t use it as often as I probably should now, but that bicycle saved me. It was so good to feel the wind on my face and to be using my body and challenging it in a different way. Keep your head up, I think great things are on the horizon for you! :)

Comment by Mollyberries

I totally understand where you are coming from in regard to lack of running and depression. Going on almost a year without running due to the drunk driver. It blows. Nothing you can do but try to stay positive and keep your head up. Zoloft helps too ;)

Comment by Kirstie

Pretty sure I took the same picture two years ago. I ran the Akron Marathon and ended up with stress fracture in my tibia and off my running legs for months. That’s when I started practicing yoga. That journey began as a need for exercise and took me to where I am now (in yoga teacher training!) I highly suggest it…especially since it can be a great outlet mentally as well as physically :)

Comment by Becca




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